Don't Give Up! Epic Love Is Possible! | Addicted To Love Podcast

Healing Love Addiction can be a bumpy road and oftentimes you might think that love will never happen for you – just as I did. Oh boy, was I wrong. Epic love is possible, especially when you have done the needed healing work to step out of Love Addiction, anxious attachment styles and dysfunctional relationships. I am done telling you about healthy love from the books I have read or the ideas I had about it. I now actually know how it feels and let me tell you; all the pain and suffering it took to get to this place was all worth it.

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If you want more on getting the best out of your life and relationships, check out our new brand The Royal Path where you find everything about personal growth, deep healing and emotional liberation.

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Epic Love Is Possible

Welcome back to Addicted to Love with Aleah Ava. I am so excited to create another episode of a podcast that has truly helped many of my listeners and my clients to break through the unhealthy patterns and dynamics related to love addiction. I feel just like at the very beginning of creating this podcast, truly blessed to support people on their journey. And my initial business became so much more over the course of doing hundreds and hundreds of hours with my clients. I’ve been feeling deeply fulfilled and grateful for what I get to do in my life.

But you know what is the absolute most amazing thing in this journey? I have found love. I have found epic love, and I want to tell you about it. Because just a little more than a year ago, I was at a point when I was really willing to accept that despite all the efforts that I have made to heal and finally be able to manifest love, it just would not happen for me.

The Power Of Surrendering To The Universe

Back then, I felt that I’ve done the work to be able to attract epic love and yet it just would not happen. The belief that love would just not happen for me and nothing can change that was still really strong in me. So, I kept going and I went on a one-month long training and retreat. And I again took that topic into my process and I really worked with it again.

One day I came to a point where I accepted that love would simply not happen to me. From that moment on I would still call “him” in, but there was no desperate energy behind it.

At the end of the month, I was done. I surrendered. I let it go. I accepted that love would simply not happen to me. And from that moment on, I still didn’t give up, but something fundamental shifted in me, something in my energy shifted. I came from a place where I was okay with the fact that I might remain alone for the rest of my life. But I kept calling ‘him’ in and I did it more consciously and sincerely that I have ever done up to that point.

(When) He Found Me

So, I started cooking dinner for the both of us. I made the table nice for the both of us. I started writing letters to him. I basically said something along the lines, “I’ve tried, I’ve gone to every last corner of this world to find you, but for some reasons, I simply don’t succeed. So please come and find me.” I was so relaxed. There was no desperation in it anymore. There was no neediness in it anymore. I was just consciously calling him in because what my heart desired, I knew still better than ever.

Who would have thought that Tinder would bring me luck?

Three months later (June, 2020), I opened my Tinder and I saw ‘You have a match!’. The guy seemed really nice and kind and showed interest by engaging in a way that made me feel light, seen and happy. He wasn’t pushy, but he wasn’t dragging things on either. He wanted us to meet right next Saturday and I already thought, wow, this guy gives me his Saturday, that’s new. A guy who knows what he wants, that’s new. A guy who offers kindly to pick me up at my house for our first date and I actually feel comfortable with that, that’s new.

He made me feel so comfortable. He actually made me feel as if he was interested in ME. Click To Tweet

A guy for whom I was nervous about what I will be wearing, but not because I need him to like it but because my heart was simply so nervous, like a little girl, who’d meet a boy for the first time. It just all felt really bubbly and exciting and good. So, Saturday came and I walked towards his car. He came out of his car and he smiled at me, warming my heart instantly. The conversation flew super easily from the beginning. He made me feel so comfortable. He actually made me feel as if he was interested in me because he wanted to know everything about my work and was fascinated by it.

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Love & Relationship On Another Level

He invited me to a beautiful restaurant and we spent an incredible first date. Incredible. Now we are one year into our relationship. And that’s why I was so quiet on the podcast because I didn’t want to come to you and say, hey guys, I found love when actually I have no track record of how it was going to develop. But I cannot tell you how much I love this man after one year now. I’ve never felt more safe, more protected, more seen and loved than with him. There were zero red flags.

I did not have to calculate my next moves. There were no power plays or games of any sort. He was just there, steady.

We’re born just three days apart so we naturally have a lot in common. He’s basically like me in a male body, same big heart of gold, a feeling person, a person who allows the other to be. A person who has incredible values, such as respect and commitment and accountability, and who deeply, deeply cares about the other, who helps me, supports me and who is willing to make the effort to connect over and over again.

Epic Love Is Really Worth Waiting For

A person who wants to know my wounds, my hurt, my needs and my fears and who caters towards them. I sincerely never ever thought that such epic love would be possible for me, especially for me, maybe for others, but not for me. And then meeting him on Tinder, I mean, what are the odds? But I don’t just love him. I really, really like him. Finally, someone is generous with me like I usually am generous with others. It feels like I have arrived. He, us, has become my home and you know what I realized when I say all those things to you, for the past two years, people have heard all the most vulnerable things about my love addiction. And I feel that I have the right to now also say how far I have come. But mostly because I know that no matter how much you believe at this point, that love is never going to happen for you – IT. IS. NOT. TRUE. I swear it’s not true.

There’s every possibility for this to happen for you.

To me, it felt like God had made a decision. And please know, when I talk about God, I just mean the Holy Spirit, the source, the universe, the higher truth, the great creator, whatever you wanna call it. To me, it felt like God had made a decision. “It is time for her to get her deepest heart’s longing. She’s done the work. She’s been patient. She kept believing, she surrendered and she stuck with the healing also in the worst of times, the most uncomfortable times when she felt really lost and really like, ‘I don’t want to do this anymore'”. So, I know now that healing is possible even from something like love addiction. We’re not broken. We’re all just finding our way. But clients repeatedly tell me that they do not see the end of this journey. And I keep telling them that there is light at the end of the tunnel. And when they stick with it, they will see it too and they do! You would not believe how many of my clients came to me devastated and desperate saying “I’ll never find love” and a year later they are married or are pregnant.

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Stick To Your Principles, Stay True To Your Standards And Practice To Say No

One of the most important things, was for me to keep saying no to what it is that I do not want. Anything that did not reflect the epic love I was looking for, I said no to. I chose to remain alone to not have my needs met, to feel lonely and sad at times and frustrated and hopeless to not compromise and I kept my dream in my heart. I just didn’t give up. And that is what I want to say to you today. Love, the way you want it, is possible you just have to stick with it. The great thing about this all now is that my work has deepened even more because now I’m not just a coach who knows what it feels like to no longer live in co-addicted relationships, and how to step out of that destructive behavior, now I’m the coach who actually manifested epic love and people can feel that.

Love, the way you want it, is possible, you just have to stick with it. Click To Tweet

It makes them hopeful. It makes them feel safe for working with me because there is something that they can literally grasp and see and feel, and taste through me. And I feel more confident working with them now more than ever. And in my humble opinion, healing is no longer optional. That’s why I created The Royal Path with my business partner, Dan Hart, together. And if you want epic love and an epic life, you’ve got to do the work. Not from a place of inducing fear into you, because “if you don’t do it, you’re not going to have love!” No, simply from a place where I can tell you that life is so much sweeter with epic love in it and I want that for you too.

Say No To Anything That Does Not Reflect The Epic Love You Are Looking For

So, saying no to things that do not make you happy and that despite your efforts do not change is fundamental in your recovery. Saying no includes a guy that you’re dating, a girl that you’re dating and she’s not the one. You can feel it, you can smell it, it’s somewhere in your gut, in your heart. You have to say no right away. It means that if you’re in a relationship at this point and you’re not happy and you’ve done the work and you feel like this is not going anywhere, it means to have the courage to say, “I’m sorry, but I need to let you go”. It means the relationship that you’ve been on and off with for so long, because you never really managed to be without contact. You got to do it. You have to go no contact. You have to put them out of your life. So, in the next episode, and I promise you, this is going to come up now by-weekly, like I want to release new episodes for you every other week because I have so much to share with you, I will talk to you about that important phase called “no contact”. It is a life saver! Not so easy, but powerful.

30 days no contact survival guide

30 Days No Contact Survival Guide

In the next episode, I want to actually talk about why no contact is so important. It’s hard, it’s so hard because when you go no contact, you’re going into withdrawal and withdrawal brings a lot of uncomfortable feelings. It’s like a drug, when you go off drugs. Or when you stop drinking alcohol, when you stop working, when you stop watching porn, like all the addictions that we have. If we take them away, we’re in withdrawal. So, it’s really hard. But we actually created a guide for you that will make it so much easier. It’s called the 30 Days, No Contact Survival Guide. And it will help you to survive withdrawal to actually really grow in self-love and instead of surviving a breakup, really thriving. So, I’m really excited about this. If you want to check it out already, you’ll find it here.

That’s where you’ll find the product and it’s only $30. 30 days for 30 bucks! That’s a no-brainer! So, it’s really a great deal at this point and you don’t want to miss it. Anyways, I am so excited. If you have questions, go over to the site addictedtolovepodcast.com. You can send me your questions. You can send me voice mails and if you want to know what we’re up to in the Royal Path, go and check out our new website. We’re about to launch it real soon, but we’re still working in the background. Me and Dan, we are going to create for you the number one place where deep healing and emotional liberation from the past will be accessible for you.

Like we always say: Burn your childhood trauma and rise like Phoenix from the ashes of your old self! That is how powerful you are. Let us show you how.
Because healing is no longer optional.
I´ll see you soon.

Bye, Aleah.

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