The number one thing that helped me overcome my love addiction was to leverage the triggers by feeling the feelings behind it instead of acting them out. However, there was one all-deciding difference;
I exposed my feelings and my needy, obsessive, compulsive, neurotic side to someone else when working through it. At first, it was the most challenging thing to do, but after a while, I understood the incredible power of exposure.
Being seen and validated in our pain and not being judged for any of it, is the biggest gift one can receive. It means pure LOVE and gives us a deep feeling of being seen, validated and worthy.
Most of us have lost the ability to share and express how we feel a long time ago. When we were little, there was no one we could turn to with all that we felt or anyone that would hold a loving, non-intrusive space for us. As children, we had no one and nowhere to go with our feelings. It left us feeling deeply alone and isolated and we still carry these feelings even today in our adult life.
This is about innocence, integrity and a deep longing of wanting to serve. It’s about helping each other heal without wanting to fix each other, without giving in to our ego wanting to coach, guide or teach someone else, so we feel more significant.
This is how we overcome Love Addiction. Instead of acting out the obsession, the neediness, the compulsions in unconscious ways (by stalking him, checking out where he is, calling too many times, always being the first one to reach out, waiting for his call, etc.), we leverage the triggers instead. This goes for both women who are single as well as for women who are in a relationship. Feeling instead of acting out will significantly benefit the relationship you are in.