If You Want To Be A Winner In Love, Take Ownership Of Your Life! Part 3

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If You Want To Be A Winner In Love, Take Ownership Of Your Life! Part 3

We will be diving into the third reason why it is so vital to overcome love addiction. For reason number one and two, go check out episodes twelve and thirteen to make sure that you stay on track with us here. This is not just for you to listen, this is for you to actively participate in and share with us how you are doing. Let’s talk about reason number three, which is to become the captain of your life through real empowerment and therewith create a life you love and are proud of and ultimately become the juiciest, sexiest version of yourself. If you want to be a winner in love, if you want to have a great relationship, it is all about how you show up and who you are in that relationship. What do I mean with that? We need to look at what we want and what we can offer in return. We tend to know exactly what we want from our partner. We even create vision boards for them but we forget one elementary and inevitable point in this because we will only attract what we want if we already are what we want, at least to a certain extent.

I want to give you an example. Could this be you saying, “I want my partner to be self-assured, confident, to be financially stable, to have a purpose in life, to be healthy, sexy and fit, to be kind and generous and to be successful in what he or she is doing. I also want him or her to have a great job, great friends and a wonderful family. I want him to be attractive and the perfect romantic!” That list could go on and on and on and there’s nothing wrong with knowing what we long for but we have to be willing to look hard at ourselves and see if we already are a good enough match for such a great person to walk into our lives.

I know that I have wanted the perfect partner forever but what I did not consider is, am I ready to receive this guy? Do I have enough to offer? I know that when I was still addicted to love, and the moment came where I had overcome that addiction, I slowly started to dare ask myself the question, “Who am I if I’m not running after love?” The person that I found inside of myself did not impress me much and my life surely was no masterpiece at all. It felt like I am not in charge of my life. It felt like life was in charge of me and I was the one that was controlled by outside circumstances. If things fell apart, I fell apart. If love didn’t work out, I fell into depression. If money got tight, I fell into hopelessness that would knock me over. I would not thrive at all. I would simply function but functioning is coping with life and that’s not attractive. Being in such a state will most likely not attract another incredible human being. I was not shining. I was not carrying myself proud and tall. I simply wasn’t the best version of myself, so how could I possibly attract another best version of himself? It was impossible. We don’t see who we are when we are focused on running after love.

A big part of being an awesome human being is to actively create a life you love. Click To Tweet

I constantly had questions looping in my head such as, “Am I loved? Do I matter? Am I safe? Does he still love me? Am I good enough? Does he still love me? Am I good enough? Does he still love me?” When he was gone, it was, “Who will love me now?” In all honesty, it was painful. In the moment of awakening, I realized that the version of myself that I found was not something I was proud of. I realized that I wasn’t my very own best raving fan. I said to myself, “Aleah, this year is for you. Focus on yourself. In one year’s time, I want to be proud of who you are and what you have achieved.” I dedicated a full year to myself. One year later, after many challenges, tons of overwhelming moments and hard work, I launched my business and this podcast and I’m very proud of what I have created and excited about who I am now. I am super thrilled to share this with you all because if I can do it, you can do it too. A big part of being an awesome human being is to actively create a life you love, to be proud of yourself, to find meaning in what you do. This juice will spill over to another awesome human being because everything finds its equivalent.

Being the one that is in charge of your life will make all the difference for you, your happiness and your love life. If love addiction runs our life, even controls our life and emotional state, then obviously we are not because the addiction is. We don’t have enough space to focus all our time, energy, and our thoughts towards what we want. Because in order to create a life we love, we need to be in a state of empowerment, not only mentally, but also emotionally and physically. If we are constantly obsessed with ensuring love and attention, we’re not in a position of empowerment. We are in a position of deep fear, insecurities and a feeling of agitation and we rather focus on the lack of things. Here’s another point, we especially need resilience. If you remember episode number nine, you know that due to the early absence of love that often results in love addiction, we often lack resilience. At some point, when I felt enough of my pain that was related to the early absence of love, I started to become more and more empowered. Things started to seem feasible. I started to trust my talents, my skills, my greatness. I no longer had the feeling of, “I know I can do that, but I can’t.”

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If you want more on getting the best out of your life and relationships, check out our new brand The Royal Path where you find everything about personal growth, deep healing and emotional liberation.

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Once I was no longer controlled by love addiction, my self-worth, self-love, and respect grew tremendously. I started to take ownership of my life. I started to take charge and deal with what life throws at me. I no longer collapsed and got depressed when difficulties arose to a level where I did not know how to get out of. Sure, if something super challenging happens, I do still get affected. I do have to work hard to surrender to it but it doesn’t take me as long as it used to. I stand back up and keep fighting for my vision with this no-matter-what attitude. That would never have been possible years ago.

Captain Of Your Life: Would your life change if you actually took ownership of it instead of being controlled by something outside of yourself?[/caption]

Just ask yourself, how would your life change if you took ownership of it instead of being controlled by something outside of yourself? How would you feel if you were super proud of who you are and what you do and if you had a sense of independence even in your relationships? How would your life change if you were no longer a victim of outside circumstances? How would the emotional quality of your life change if you were able to deploy your talents and make your vision of life come true if you are happy and proud of who you are as a human being? How damn attractive can you possibly be when standing in your full power? Do we know who we are at our core, our essence? Do we know what we stand for and believe in? Do we have ourselves together to a certain degree? Are we successful, fit, healthy and financially stable?

Look at all the areas of your life, health, relationships, love, purpose and so on. Take a little assessment. I have one prepared for you that I’m happy to share with you in my member’s area that you can become a part of when you sign up. If you want to know more about this, go to www.theroyalpath.com and click on Membership. That’s where, together, we will work through love addiction and learn how to take ownership of our life. Meaning to dare to live the life we want, to dare to take risks, to dare to trust that you have what it takes to make your talents count and to go for your vision. For this to happen, we have to overcome our unhealthy run after love and do whatever it takes to turn this around. I will show you how to develop the necessary self-worth and resilience to deal with life’s upheaval like hell. You go from surviving to thriving. How would you feel if you were able to tap into the juiciest and sexiest version of yourself and then attract your equivalent from that space? How would life change for you then? This was the last reason why it is so vital to work through love addiction. They’re all very important and even if you don’t resonate with all of them but maybe one or two, then I hope you will stick with the show.

We will only attract what we want if we already are what we want. Click To Tweet

This show builds up, so if you have not started at the beginning, it is a good time to do so. If you feel that enough is enough, “I want to transform love addiction. I want to be in control. I don’t want love addiction to run my life anymore,” then perhaps it is time to join my community of women who decided to walk the same path and are eager and happy to help each other heal and transform into the most empowered version of themselves. Living in the state of empowered vulnerability is what I call that. You’ll learn all about it when working with me. Make sure to check it out at www.theroyalpath.com and find the courage to go on the journey to find out who you are if you are not running after love and instead let love come find you. The good thing is this time you don’t have to do it alone. We’ll be doing it together. There is so much more to come and I can’t wait to talk to you more. If you have a question about love, sex, relationship, head over to www.addictedtolovepodcast.com. You’ll find options to either send me a voicemail or send me a question in writing. Maybe I’ll pick your question to answer in a future episode.

For now; start noticing all the little ways you are trying to secure love, get attention, ensure to still be loved, and then sit with the feelings that surface when in pursuit of love and maybe not getting what you need. Just become more and more aware of all the little ways you are running after love and how much fear there is connected to that. If you need help, you know where to find me. I look forward to speaking with you in the next episode!

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If you want more on getting the best out of your life and relationships, check out our new brand The Royal Path where you find everything about personal growth, deep healing and emotional liberation.

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Important Links:

• Episode number nine – Childhood trauma and the early absence of love 
• Episode number twelve – If you want to be a winner in love…part 1
• Episode number thirteen – If you want to be a winner in love…oart 2
• Addicted to Love Podcast on iTunes
• Get our 30 days no contact survival guide here
• Our Retreats 
• The Royal Path
• Free ebook How to heal for good with 0% spiritual bypassing